Many people ask me what's up with this Habib thing anyway? All I know is you like to walk around and shout out "Habib!" for no apparent reason. That is why I am making this page so people can know the story behind the name, Habib.
Cool facts about Habib.
* The first thing you need to understand is Habib is not just a name, its a whole way of living.
* You see one day everyone in the world will be named Habib and when everyone is named Habib the continents will merge and the world will become like the garden of Eden again and everything will be perfect. In fact the Greek translation of Adam and for Eve is Habib.
* Now you might think this would be kind of confusing if everyone was named Habib but actually it's quite simple. You just say "Habib" and point to the person your talking to.
* However some kids like to be funny so they run into large public places such as the mall and scream out "Habib!" and everyone stops and looks around. This started to become a major problem so the council of the high Habibs (Which I will explain later) passed a law saying anyone who did this would be executed without trial. That was the end of this problem.
* Now this also made it impossible to use phones because you can't call someone's house and say "is Habib there," so because of this there are no phones.
* Another question you may have is what are women called. That's the coolest part, you see Habib is not gender specific. Therefore men and women are both named Habib. This therefore causes the elimination of -isms. You know what they are: racism, sexism and on and on.
* Another cool fact about Habibs is that there is only one way a Habib can die and that is if his coolness level gets too low.
* There are certain things that can drain a Habibs coolness level. These things are drugs, smoking, beer, hard liquor and bald heads. If a Habib has a bald head all his coolness leaks out of his head and he eventually dies.
* Conversely there are also certain things that can increase a Habib's coolness level. These things include: oranges, pears, birch beer, Jewish food, and facial hair (male Habibs only). Now you may be thinking why the heck does facial hair increase a Habib's coolness level. Well the facial hair help to lock in coolness.
Habib in the future.
* Now this may be your first exposure to Habib but it certainly will not be your last. In a few years Habib will have spread throughout the world. Many world leaders will unite with other countries in peace with the intention of making a universal language, English and a universal name, Habib.
* Since everyone in the world must be named Habib there will ultimately be people who reject the Habib name and way of life. That will eventually result in the great war of the Habibs where all the Habibs battle the non-Habibs, also known as traitors. The war will rage on and eventually escalate into a nuclear disaster where all the worlds nukes will be fired causing complete nuclear destruction. Many people will run to nuclear bomb shelters but that is another unfortunate fact.
* You see shortly before the nuclear disaster a little known scientist figures out that all the known nuclear bomb shelters will not withstand a nuclear bomb. He then finds the weak link, fixes it, and creates the only bomb shelter that can actually withstand a nuclear attack. This scientist, named Habib quickly tells his 5 closest friends about his exciting discovery. However he doesn't get a chance to tell anyone else because as he is showing his fellow Habibs the shelter the nuclear war starts, so they quickly lock themselves inside. While inside the bomb shelter they all commit to the Habib way of living. They realize that no one else could have survived the nuclear disaster so they start to right up guidelines for Habibs. Forty days later, when the six Habibs emerge from the bomb shelter they find that the world is perfect. It has once again become like the garden of Eden and the continents all have merged into one. These six Habibs, four men and two women, go on to reproduce and have many more Habibs, who live together in peace and harmony. However these first six are known as the high Habibs. When any Habibs have an unanswered question they can go before the council of high Habibs and ask them. These six Habibs are the wisest in the land. And the Habibs live for eternity in peace and harmony.
Special thanks to:
~ LaShawn Reco for helping me come up with the concept of Habib.
~ Jon Becker for being the worlds first Habib.
~ Jimmy for shouting out Habib with me at 2:00am on the buss ride to Lake Saranac.
~ Letitia, Jessica, and Jen P. for helping spread the good news of Habib all over camp.
~ Jen W. who for Christ-mas got me a hat that says Habib on it, and for inspiring me to persuade my speech class to convert to the ways of Habib.
~ Kat for spreading the good news of Habib by screaming out Habib at 12 midnight on the bus ride to Florida.
~ Kenny for giving me the means to spread the good news of Habib by merely driving my car around.
~ Ryan, who made me a "Habib" sign in wood shop class.
~ My best friend on Earth, Nate, for making Habib an honorary Meat Manager at Giant.
~ And lastly to Habib F. Issa Jr. who is the first person with Habib as his birth-name to ever talk to me.
~* You are all great patriots for Habib and you will be well rewarded.
If you have any questions, comments or ideas about Habib please e-mail me firstname.lastname@example.org
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